For a Child, Get Adult’s Approval is Love, not Endorsed is Hate?

Parents let their children to learn how to write, she wrote a word look up to parents, until parents say this word in its right, dare to write down. Other things, too, seems to be the only other people at ease.

For the children’s good behavior, her children were carefully managed. Such as have just been talk, began requiring children to be “polite” even mother wiped them.Children must say thank you, if what forgot to mention, would criticize the child,”how rude, others give you work, remember to say thank you.”

In the education of children, appreciate, and not allowed to make mistakes is not compatible to the two cannot run at the same time. A mother does not allow them to make a mistake it is impossible to truly appreciate her child, her compliment can only occur in children do make it satisfying moments for parents, strengthening is the impression of the child: parent satisfaction, you have the good fruit to eat; parents are not satisfied, will give you some color to see. This led instead to the child will spend a lot of effort and energy to fathom and cater to parents, self growth energy consumption.

In the education context, “free” and “respect” is a buzz word, but how many people can really understand its meaning?There are mothers, and when she heard me these views about children should be allowed to make a mistake, pleased and confident to say that teachers are right, to let children make mistakes.

“For each child, recognized by adults is love, not endorsed is hate. The “largest and most hidden problems in contemporary education, are not even aware of their own parents or teachers is very hard on the children, resulting in error control of children occur at any time, on the formation of children’s intellectual growth is everywhere disturbed.
First, try to reduce the children’s mercy, do not force children to accept anything he didn’t want to accept it. Such as eating, like asking aunts and uncles and good.

Second, try to meet the requirements of children, even if the child is not good enough. As long as there is no danger to life and health, and the second does not damage the interests of others–that is, in “moral” and “security” on the bottom line, parents can let go, can give the child free.

Third, if the choices children make parents expect, don’t let kids in “Yes” or “no” selected, not to tell him “no” opportunity, but “Yes” gave him a choice between a and b in the framework. Kids don’t want to go to bed, you want him to fall asleep, don’t ask “well right now? “If you want to ask” are you going to sleep directly, or listen to a story and then get to sleep? “In short, to give the child a choice, rather than give him a command. Of course, this trick not often, or to become a pattern.

Many people worry that this is “spoiled” child, or children, it is because they understand freedom as license, which makes many teachers and parents in the wrong way education go very far. Words are often misleading, “love” and “spoiled” appears to have common elements, in fact they are not the kind of thing on the deep, but two completely different things. “Love” will contain free, so-called “coddled,” were covered with love coat of “excessive control”-the starting point of excessive regulation may be love, but the result is the opposite of love, is the anti-“love” on this issue – and consequences now for all to see, reason has been the wrong antibody.